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[ # ] On the way home Thursday night
November 30th, 2006 under Daily life

With apologies and thanks to Wendy for the form…

Scout (noticing a dashboard light): Hey, the airbag is on. That’s good.

Sporks: Yeah, but that’s one thing I’ve discovered I don’t like about my new car

Scout: What?

Sporks: Well the car will turn off the airbag for a child or small adult based on a weight sensor in the seat. And the other day I went to the store and put two fridge packs of soda on the seat. The car thought they were a small child and beeped at me to put the seatbelt on the whole way home.

Scout: Well, that would be ok if it were a sack of onions or something.

Sporks: I guess I could have just fastened the seat belt.

Scout: Yes, if you sat them vertically, they would be ok.

Sporks: (Laughing) Honey, you just need to fasten the belt. You don’t actually have to fasten them in like a child… Hey wait, is that why you thought a sack of onions would be ok? Because they’re child shaped and belt would fit nicely around them?

Scout: (Also laughing) I can be a little dim.

Sporks: Can I do a Wendy-like dialogue post?

Scout: (laughing) Sure.

Happy Friday. Keep your sodas and onions safe. Like children, they travel best in the back seat. Car seats optional.

Read the Comments

[ # 813 ] Comment from WenWhit [December 1, 2006, 5:08 am]

LOL Ya’ll are cute.
FTR, I thought the sack of onions was a reference to President Bush!

[ # 814 ] Comment from WordsRock [December 1, 2006, 7:38 am]

I don’t know how I feel about all those new “safety” features in automobiles. Do we really need a reminder to fasten our child’s seatbelt? The airbag on/off feature, however, sounds great.

My boss drives a Prius and he was bitching about an alarm that sounded every time he puts it in reverse. The alarm only sounded on the inside of the car. He has since disabled it.

[ # 815 ] Comment from sporksforall [December 1, 2006, 7:45 pm]

Ahem. George W. Bush is NOT allowed in my car. As to sacks of onions, my onion needs aren’t that high in a normal context.

I have the back-up beep, too. I like it. Honey keeps telling it to be quiet. We’ll see how long I leave it on.

[ # 816 ] Comment from the only daughter [December 2, 2006, 11:13 pm]

The sodas and onions ride on the floor-but it’s not my car.

All that beeping and the on & off lights would drive me bananas.

Such an adventure, new cars.

[ # 818 ] Comment from scout [December 3, 2006, 12:19 am]

The FJ is also rather hysterical about adults wearing seat belts. If I don’t fasten mine immediately, it begins beeping, quickly ramping up in cadence if I don’t snappily respond to its shrill command. As far as I can tell, it will not stop beeping so long as the car is in motion and I am untethered, which could make for a very annoying ride when I’m feeling stubborn.

[ # 824 ] Comment from alice, uptown [December 6, 2006, 6:34 pm]

If the car maker really wanted the vehicle to have a useful ability, it would make the car able to drive itself. Otherwise, the car makers are just pandering to the ever-sinking intelligence of the American public.

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