Wisconsin by the numbers:

Number of sausages consumed: 4

Number of beers consumed: 5

Number of beers consumed in the previous six months: 0

Number of the Wisconsin beers consumed on the same night: all

Number of ratio of sausages on the night in question to beers: 2/5

Amount of sauerkraut consumed: minimal

Number of artisan diet root beers consumed: 1

Number of times artisan diet root beer was sought after that: several

Success at finding artisan diet root beer again: nil

Perceived rarity of artisan diet root beer: high

Time of conference presentation: 8:30

Number of attendees at session: 10

Number of friends who later apologized for not coming: 4

Number who cited early time as reason for absence: 4

Pounds of cheese purchased: 4+

Amount of it shaped like Wisconsin: 0

Number of times downtown Milwaukee was circumnavigated: 5

Number of times in Crocs in the rain: 3

Feeling of Croc worthiness for anything after the fact: high

Number of things I wish I had seen in Wisconsin that I didn’t: 2

What were they? Trek factory tour, Waterloo
Oldest bowling alley

Number of non-German food meals that were surprisingly good: 2

Food genres that surprised? Italian and Moroccan/Spanish

Times I checked e-mail while gone: 3

Times I checked on my blogleague fantasy football team: 5

Level of panic at Mike Vick’s pseudo-injury: hysterical

How did Vick do? 4 touchdowns, 26 fantasy points

You didn’t play him did you? Nope

So, how did Delhomme do? 14 fantasy points

Could you still win? Maybe

Would you have won with Vick: much more likely

You haven’t won yet have you? Why, no, no I haven’t

Will you? Maybe not

Anyway, back to Wisconsin…

Other purchases (besides cheese)? Spices, book, cheese stress squeezy

Number of visits to Milwaukee in sporkslifetime: 2

Number for the same conference: 2

Chances that sporks will go back if the conference schedules itself there again: low

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