Here are the details:
Crocs Cayman Clogs
Size: Large (Sporks has big ol’ feet.)
Color: Butter
Beautiful, aren’t they? Can I get an amen?
Timeline:
Hour -1
Honey and future clog owner (FCO) enter Sports Chalet, where the promise to “take to the limit” didn’t really appeal. Why were they there? To buy Honey water shoes.
FCO notices the Crocs flip flops. FCO gasps. FCO tries the flip flops on. They do not suit FCO (between toe hurt is palpable). FCO then puts on a pair of brown clogs. FCO dances around a little. No laughing at FCO.
FCO checks out the colors. Decides on yellow. Becomes Clog owner (CO) and $30 poorer.
Hours 1-3
Clogs ride and sit (in bag) around in the hot car. CO is a little worried they’ll melt. CO and clogs are brave.
Hour 4
Clogs arrive home. After other purchases are put away, they accompany CO (in hand) to office. Dog tries to steal them. Dog is admonished. Picture of left clog taken.
Hour 5
Blog entry written. Clog picture uploaded.
Hour 6
Famous bloggers 1 and 2 make fun of clogs in comments of blog entry. One of famous blogging duo also makes fun of clogs in private e-mail. Suggests that clogs may protect from lightning strike. CO thinks this is an added benefit.
Hours 7-9
Clogs rest comfortably under desk. This is where they go for now.
Hour 10
Presidential Candidate makes fun of CO for liking clogs in blog comments. PC suggests that CO should be called Anke Ousterhoudt.
Hours 11-19
Clogs continue to rest under desk. They are unaware that they have been maligned. Bless their hearts.
Hour 20
Clogs are put on with all black outfit. Honey assesses and argues for less contrast between somberness of outfit and clog-itude. Shirt changed to one of loud variety. Honey reassesses. Approves (sort of). CO becomes Clog Wearer (CW).
Hour 21
Clogs are helpful in driving. They also get several looks in Starbucks. CW decides fellow Starbucks patrons are jealous. She resists telling them where similar can be procured. Clogs come to office and are also greeted by jealousy. Clog wearer theorizes jealousy is so thick in office that no one dare speak. CW sees furtive looks. CW and clogs discuss and decide that no one wants to kiss up to CW about clogs because it’s performance evaluation time. No one wants to be untoward. CW applauds her staff’s restraint.
Hours 22-23
CW and clogs do work. Clogs are very helpful to CW. There may have been some bouncing on feet in office. Reports vary.
Hour 24
Clogs are deemed to be worthy of blog entry of their own. CW writes said entry. Discovers in doing so that “yellow” clogs are actually a color called “butter.” CW likes them even more as a result. Decides to call them buttery rubbery clogs from now on. Also decides that clog days are good days. Still contemplating whether Anke Ousterhoudt would be a better appellation for self than sporksforall or actual name.
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