Honey had a cold last weekend and I congratulated myself all week for not getting it. Then, lo and behold, standing in line at Souplantation Friday night, I felt my throat getting sore. Sore throat led to aches led to stuffed up nose and headaches.

Honey and I were out of decongestant and I had managed (with some help from Biscuit) to destroy our hairbrush (yes we share(Honey and I, not Biscuit and I or Biscuit and Honey)…whatever). So I went to the drugstore this morning. I should add that I took our last decongestant this morning and I am very much congested. 12 hours my ass.

I guess I knew this, but when I got to the cough and cold aisle, anything with suphedrine wasn’t there.

So, I picked out a new brush, got some Kleenex (anti viral Kleenex! Will technology never cease? Supposedly it kills 99.9% of cold and flu viruses. Now, I do have a question–if they can’t cure the cold how can a Kleenex do what all of Western medicine can not? I mean, I believe in Kleenex. I’m just not sure these are SUPERKLEENEX.)

I go with my armload of stuff back to the pharmacy and ask for sudafed. The pharmacist looks at me as if I’m a threat.

“Do you have a cold?”

“Yesd.” I then sniff to add emphasis to my congested response.

“Ok.” She looks me up and down. I smile bravely and sniff again.

She starts to ring up the brush and Kleenex, then looks at me again and says–”I need ID.” She scans it and nods when I don’t come up on the drug dealer list they must have in the little box.

I walk out of the drugstore and imagine the little cameras that must be following my every move.

I walked out into the Southern California June gloom imagining all the trouble I could get into with my 12 Rite-Aid generic time release sudafed. She was right to worry. Once I tap into the superpower of the Kleenex and grind down those babies, I’ll be able to take over the world.

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Watch out!

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