Honey and I are back from a weekend in Las Vegas. I love going to LV and was especially looking forward to this trip because we were going to stay at Mandalay Bay, my favorite hotel/casino. It smells like tropical. I’m sure they pump something toxic in to make it smell that way. But I like it.

We have added a newish element to out LV experience. Last summer we gave over to what Treecup had been advocating for years, the spa day. I didn’t get it in theory. I totally get it in practice.

Mandalay has a wonderful spa, with four bubbling pools (two hot, one warm, one cold plunge), a steam room, a dry sauna, and a quiet lounge.

My “therapist” looked like a kindergarten teacher. Big glasses and a sensible hairdo. Her massage technique was intense.

She was vigorous. Honey thinks I’m a total wimp. She had a deep tissue massage and I had a Swedish. Still, Jackie, the kindergarten teacher worked me over. I keep asking my honey if my shoulders look bruised. I may seem to be complaining. I’m not. The whole thing was fab.

We also floated along the “lazy river” in the Mandalay pool area. Lap after lap. I want one in my back yard. We didn’t “tube” the lazy river because Mandalay was charging $20 to RENT tubes.

Let’s do the numbers:

Number of baseball games won by the team I bet on while I was at the spa: 2

Number of baseball games lost by the team I bet on while I was at the spa: 1

Total money won while at the spa: $10

Total money spent at the spa: $130

Number of showers I took at the spa: 3

Number of times I conditioned my hair: 2

Number of times I visited the warm pool: 3

Number of times I visited the hot pools: 4

Number of times I visited the cold plunge: 0

Number of teeny cans of juice I consumed: 2

Number of cups of nuts I consumed: 2 (1 shared with Honey)

Number of the nut cups that had belonged to someone else before Honey started eating them: 1

Number of times we made complete circumnavigations of the lazy river (approx): 12

Number of sections of the Sunday NY Times I read: 2 (book review and magazine)

Number of minutes spent in the steam room: 3 (be me) 10-15 (by Honey)

Number of cool/ice rags nice women handed us in there: 1 each

Number of minutes the ice rag added to my ability to remain in there: at least 2

Number of shoulder muscles (could be tendons) that feel bruised: 2

Number of actual bruises on my shoulders: 0

Total: 53-58 + net output of $120

Analyze it yourself. I know where I stand. Pro spa. Very pro spa.

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